Kate Winslet is married. Everyone is saying that Leonardo DiCaprio gave her away, although the source on that report comes from one of the British papers which...you know. Apparently it was a small event and even their parents weren’t aware. If it’s true about Leo, I wonder if he’s over it. I wonder if he’s over the fact that Kate is in love with a man who changed his last name from Smith to ROCKNROLL. And that their children, should they have any, will be called Something ROCKNROLL.

Or Rock’nRoll.

Here’s the official statement as issued by Winslet’s publicist:

"I can confirm that Kate Winslet married Ned Rock'nRoll in NY earlier this month in a private ceremony attended by her two children and a very few friends and family."

Did you see it? Did you note the punctuation in his name? That is the first time I’ve seen the apostrophe there and it appears in every article today about their marriage, being as every outlet just copied and pasted the rep’s announcement. And if it wasn’t enough for you that this is a dude who went down to the courthouse and filled out the paperwork, legally switching from Smith to Rock’nRoll, the apostrophe tells you everything.

The apostrophe tells you that Ned had time to think on it, and after all that consideration, still decided to make the adjustment AND, on top of that, as if RocknRoll wasn’t bad enough, he had to throw in the fancy punctuation between the “k” and the “n” which, I guess, would be OK if it was correctly applied across the board...

Only it’s not.

Because if it were, his last name would be Rock’n’Roll. The omission of the second apostrophe then is probably a deliberate, artistic decision...

RocknRoll is TERRIBLE.

Rock’nRoll is even worse.

Kate Winslet married Ned Rock’nroll. Who changed it from Smith. Who put a lone apostrophe in there on purpose. Like the people who call their kids M’Kayla. Or Haven’T. Yes. Haven’T. TWO families called their kid “Haven’T” this year. TWO FAMILIES. Click here if you don’t believe me.

That’s Kate’s husband now.