Bear Winslet, mind you. There is no indication of this baby being a RocknRoll. 

But there you have it. Bear.

Before you go all “celebrities and their wacky names!”, Kate Winslet’s older two children are named Mia and Joe. So, I mean, Bear is a noted step in the direction of the twee. She couldn’t marry Ned RocknRoll and not have some of it wear off on her, right? 

So Bear. It’s annoying, yes, but it’s not untenable. She’s not even the first. Alicia Silverstone and Jamie Oliver have named their babies Bear. To me it’s just cutesy, something it seems Kate took so much care to avoid in almost everything in her life beforehand. I mean, it’s not the worst of the cutesy names. It’s not IceCream Sundae (I once read a teen book called Adorable Sunday, and yes, the name played a key part in the character’s development) but it’s really, really not got the solidity of John either.

Now, a couple of things here. The article I read indicates that “They’re currently nursing the mite at their home in West Sussex”. This may or may not be true, but I think it’s notable that they’re not in New York right now. There’s something about England that lends itself to nicknames and cutesiness and affection that doesn’t necessarily mean his legal given name is Bear. He could be Bertram Billingsley Winslet for all we know, and Bear is just the nickname. Maybe?

But mostly the reason this is a little disappointing is because all babies look like bears. I don’t know what it is that virtually all childrens wear is bedecked in bear-ears up to a certain point,  but as a result it’s like looking at a baby and naming it “Cutie”. Or “Chubby”. Or how a whole bunch of people started to name their babies “Colleen” but it actually literally means “girl”. Bear is kind of a given, you know? 

But as recently as last Thursday I said that Bear doesn’t bother me as much as it should. That’s still true, although less so when it’s paired with Bear Winslet’s much-older siblings. Still, given that the father’s last name is ROCKNROLL, naming might be a matter of degrees. She may have done the best she could under the influence of her husband’s ridiculous taste in names. 

(Lainey: shoulda known it would be Bear by the belly-cupping.)