Or maybe it is Ken Paves. It certainly looks tacky enough to be, non?

What the FACK is wrong with Katherine Heigl’s head??? This sh*t hasn’t worked beyond the trailer park since 1983. And in combination with the red dress and the reptile print shoes – it’s tacky ass all over, though I bet you some rich ass 3rd wife here in Scottsdale thinks Katie’s ensemble is the very definition of style.

This is what I’ve been observing in Arizona all weekend. These women…they are AMAZING.

So I’m sitting in the shoe department at Neiman Marcus waiting to try on a pair of flats. Three ladies in their 40s saunter up – one in Valentino, another in Louis Vuitton denim (snort), and the last in Chloe, all clutching $3,000 bags (a Birkin no less), with the hugest diamonds you’ve ever seen. Bigger than two of my eyeballs (I’m Asian so the size of one eye doesn’t mean much).

Anyway, their arrival precedes the smell of baking cookies. Not kidding. Within 2 minutes a staffer appears with a try full of fresh pastries and tea. Greeting the women personally by name, he air kisses each one before floating away to summon their personal shopper, who shows up 2 minutes later, flanked by 5 other socialites who had already been at it upstairs.

Now all 8 of them were trying to out-spend each other. All of them pulled and plucked and botoxed and bleached. Seriously. I’ve seen, like, one brunette all weekend. And the best part is the conversation.

Because while cruising up and down the aisles of one of the most high end department stores in America, all The Wives choose to talk about is their “charity work” and the “fundraiser” they’ve been planning for weeks. If I could have, I would’ve followed them around all day.

And this is what Katherine Heigl chose to look like at the Victoria’s Secret Superbowl party on Saturday. Bet your boob job she will NOT land on any worst dressed lists either. No one f*cks with the most popular girl in school…

Photos from Wenn.com