But he really should.

It’s a tale of two spotty beards. And not in the gay way. There are no clues in this post. There is only Beard Hate in this post. Beard Hate for dudes with splotchy beards, like Ashton Kutcher and Gary from Team American. Splotchy beards are gross.

So of course it’s nice to see Keanu Reeves without his. Keanu was photographed with a friend at the grocery on Saturday. Good pants, non?

And then there’s David Beckham at the Laker game with his bum foot and Gordon Ramsay. Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, and Sasha Vujacic all stopped by to pay their respects. Becks looks like he’s about to jumpy clap with excitement. Here’s a question for the men out there:

Is it emasculating standing next to a dude who’s really, really tall?

Is it the guy equivalent to girls checking each other out for thinness? Don’t lie. We all f-cking do.

Becks is still hoping to support England at the FIFA World Cup in South Africa in June, if not on the pitch than in stands as he is an ambassador for England 2018 hosting bid. Also Victoria has several new bags and dresses she needs to show off.

Photos from Wenn.com and London Ent/Splashnewsonline.com