Dear Gossips,

I was just saying to Lainey that it’s summer and time for some good summer gossip, when boom, the gossips goddesses delivered a bit of news completely out of left field. According to The US Sun, Bill Murray and Kelis are dating.

Now, I KNOW the source is super suspect. It’s The Sun! Back up the salt truck! But at the same time, this is SO random it actually seems plausible. Like, who would make this up? If you’re making up celebrity couples to generate some hot summertime goss, wouldn’t you go for mega names bound to stir interest? Like, Austin Butler cheats on Kaia Gerber with Dua Lipa, or something like that. Or something about Leonardo DiCaprio existing in the same approximate space as Gigi Hadid again, or Timothee Chalamet seen gazing at his reflection in window, is he the new Narcissus?

You get the drift, “Bill Murray and Kelis” is NOT a go-to summer gossip couple. So I kind of believe this? I mean, I want to, it’s tabloid headline word salad so bizarre it’s compelling. And the details do make sense—Murray was at her performance at Mighty Hoopla in London last weekend. According to “sources” he’s been to other shows of hers before that, and they bonded over recent losses of loved ones (Murray’s former wife, Jennifer Butler, passed away in 2021, and Kelis’s husband, photographer Matt Mora, passed away last year from stomach cancer).

It’s just SO random. What…do they talk about? Is Bill Murray super into R&B? Do they talk about food (Kelis is a Le Cordon Bleu trained chef)? Is Kelis secretly a big baseball fan? Did her milkshake, in fact, bring Bill Murray to the yard? Or is it just grief talk? Because that’s a completely different kind of deal, you know?

Summer gossip typically falls into two categories: celebrities yacht-hopping around the Mediterranean, and scandal. Remember the summer of 2012 and its mega-Robsten scandal? I’m not exactly wishing a cheating scandal on anyone, but I long for something that juicy. We need a good old-fashion gossip summer. I thought Taylor Swift was going to take us there, but she bailed on Matty Healy and is now hanging him out to dry like old sheets. I will be so disappointed if those Pump people are the best summer gossip we get.

And for Kelis, I want only good things. I’m not sure allegedly problematic man Bill Murray qualifies, but a summer fling a year after losing her partner tragically young—Mora was only 37—certainly does.

Attached - Kelis performing a few days ago at Mighty Hoopla in London.

Live long and gossip,

Sarah

Kelis Gossip

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