It was Kellan Lutz’s birthday this weekend. So he celebrated at a cheesy party in Vegas. As you can see, he was not accompanied by a neck, and unfortunately no one thought to give him one. That’s what my present to Kellan would have been: a neck. And if you could gift someone with the ability to not be so f-cking lameass, I would have bought him that too.

Bless him though for the comic relief he’s providing us in the form of that curious little part that he’s trying to make happen with one side of his hair.

Also…

I know it’s a preference thing, the muscles and all, but if you can see them, the muscles, THROUGH A SWEATER, that sh-t ain’t right.

Having said all that, in fairness to Kellan Lutz, he’s making the most of his limitations. There’s a body, and then there’s not much else. I appreciate that he’s not reading in trees anymore, not overreaching, that he has accepted that grunting on film may be his only viable contribution. Good job.


Photos from Wenn.com