I just want to point out how outdated the headline “Celebrities and their crazy baby names” is. Yes, okay, so one guy named his kid Fifi Trixibelle and nobody will ever forget Bronx Mowgli. But there are a hell of a lot of celebrity kids named Ava and Max and Charlotte, so I feel like we can calm down a bit.

As such, Lincoln is, yeah, totally on the unusual side, but not NEARLY the offensive affront people are making it out to be. So it’s a “boy’s” name – a popular one, at that – but there wasn’t nearly this level of outcry when baby Maxwell Drew was born.   And, as American blogs have pointed out, in the presidential-names trend, with Reagan and Madison and Carter right up front, how is Lincoln so crazy?  

There are three reasons this is making people so nuts. First of all, because the way these two have been talking about the baby in the press and the tweeting and whatnot, people thought Dax and Kristen were “like them” and that they would have a sweet little girl named Olivia. Isn’t it annoying when your chosen celebrities don’t do exactly what you would like to make you feel like them? None of you liked the name Suri when it was announced either, by the way, and now you blithely accept that it’s synonymous with a well-dressed six-year-old with a shadowy parental past. 

Second, the unending drum of being a “BOYS NAME” has been beaten all over the place. I …still don’t get this. What do people think will happen if a boy’s name is used? That people will get confused? That the child might not be the girl it’s supposed to be? Or that it was a one-size name that was supposed to be applied to whatever child came out? Again, I ask, where is this concern over Maxwell? For that matter, where is this concern over names like “Jaden” given with incorrect impunity to both boys and girls?

The third reason people are losing their minds is because the rumour has sprung up that Dax Shepard loves his Lincoln so much he named his daughter after it. There are interviews from the Hit And Run press junket that support this. If it were true, I would roll my eyes, I’m not going to pretend. But then again, nobody has actually said this is the case except for the press. Nobody has actually said “Yep, we sure did name our daughter after a vehicle”. And let’s be honest. Obviously if they chose Lincoln instead of, say, Lily, it means something significant for them. It’s not like they just chose the name of the first thing they saw. 

Is it my favourite name? It is not. Lincoln Bell actually sounds quite lovely, if it were said all at once all the time. “Link” is going to be the nickname, I bet, and it will sound quite reasonably cute on the talk show circuit. Lincoln Shepard is always going to sound a little bit like a law firm, but maybe that’s by design. I don’t love the name, but I don’t hate it, either. I also think the reasons for hating it are a little bit boring.  Can we get a little creative?