I don’t remember hearing Tom Ford’s name once on the Oscar carpet this year. He normally only dresses just one person at an event. Or, you know, Hayden Panettiere buys it off the rack. You have to be at a certain level for Tom Ford. At the level of a Gwyneth Paltrow or Naomi Watts, Anne Hathaway, Beyonce, Charlize Theron – only Charlize has to stay with Dior contractually so, no, not Charlize.

And what if you’re not at that level?

Where do you go?

Oh, hi Roberto Cavalli.

Kristin Chenoweth wore Cavalli. Kristen Bell wore Cavalli. Do we have to talk about Kristen Bell? Let’s talk about Kristen Bell. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard kept up the “no pap baby photos” crusade on the Oscar red carpet. At one point I saw the two of them talking animatedly with a constant belly-cupping Kerry Washington underneath our balcony…as the Brange took the same route just a few minutes later. And Jennifer Garner too. But for them, the fine point here is that the “parents give consent”. Yeah, well, um, exactly. And how transparent is that consent? Because eventually it’ll begin to be feel like the ones who sell their baby photos for hundreds of thousands of dollars are the ones who, at least, are more honest than the mom who tips off the photographer about when and where she’ll be at the playground.