Kristen Bell Schadenfreude

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 23, 2010 09:23:16 September 23, 2010 09:23:16

It’s a guarantee – whenever Kristen Bell shows up somewhere looking like sh-t, I will hear from Laura. She’ll be in a great mood, it’ll set the tone for the rest of her day, for our day as, among the many things we share, Kristen Bell Hate is something we developed together, at the same time, at Sundance, when that little twat was such a f-cking bitch to the entire media line at a party, an even bigger bitch than P Diddy at the same party (which is saying something in itself and at this point Veronica Mars was over) that we vowed never to bother with her ass ever again. And, satisfyingly, we really haven’t had to. Like Sarah Michelle Gellar, that I’m Gonna Be A Big Movie Star career hasn’t really panned out for Kristen Bell, has it? After all, it’s not like she’s headlining anything that actually doesn’t flop. And now everything is an ensemble, sharing airspace with Betty White. Trust me when I tell you she wants a lot more.

Strange Laura hasn’t written to me today to gloat about this dress yet. She must be stuck in a meeting.

This is Kristen at the You Again premiere last night in, well, see for yourself. It’s the best. It’s exactly what Laura and I would have chosen for her too. Right down to the terrible length. If I know Laura, she’ll be jumping up and down when she sees this.

Now that I’m mentioning this, it sounds a lot like how Laura and I feel about Emile Hirsch. We also hated him together at the same time in Cannes two years ago when he showed up on the terrace where we were having drinks and proceeded to give the entire garden a lecture on what constitutes great film. As if, Emile Hirsch.

Kristen Bell would have been all over it.

Kristen Bell deserves Emile Hirsch. Let it happen.

Photos from

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