A lot to cover in this article so let’s make an agenda:

1.Eclipse the movie
2.Gloating
3.Cute banter
4.Cute girlfriend defence
5.Whiny defensive girlfriend
6.Bitching about bloggers
7.Pretty boy + elephants
8.Crazy bitches in the line-up

Ready?

The cover of the new issue of Entertainment Weekly declares that Eclipse is the best movie in the Twilight series so far. This... um... wasn’t difficult to achieve. But as I wrote at the release of the Eclipse trailer, it looked like a campy zombie movie. Good. Apparently the cheese has been dialled down. Good. If only they had let David Slade’s original cut stand up. Because it would be even better. Having said that, I’ve no doubt Slade’s interpretation, butchered as it will likely be by Summit, will be an improvement on the sh-tness of New Moon. Especially if it this Entertainment Weekly cover delivers on its promise.

As for the interview featuring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner, two brief excerpts were released here and here. I’m about to gloat over Lautner’s response to the question about a much-anticipated tent scene:

“(It took) Two days originally to film it, and then a full day of reshoots.”

Reshoots?

What reshoots?

Remember when I first reported exclusively that there were reshoots and Summit scrambled to deny it?

Please.

It was reshoots. And there was tension. And I’ll keep my gloating to a minimum. Because this part of the interview is pretty cute. Even on paper there is a chemistry between Stewart and Pattinson that jumps off the page, especially here:

PATTINSON: in that tent scene, I can’t really get over the fact that the word thought sounds like fart.
STEWART: The word thought does not sound like fart.
PATTINSON: It does.
STEWART: Maybe because you are an English person.
PATTINSON: The opening line of that scene is “Can you at least keep your farts to yourself?” I couldn’t quite get over that.

Palpable tension. And it makes them very real, very appealing. It’s also appealing the way he defends her when the conversation turns to her infamous “rape” comment. The actual content of his defence however is total bullsh-t:

EW: You got a lot of criticism recently for comparing the intrusiveness of the paparazzi to rape. The comment got blown out of proportion very quickly, and you apologized.

STEWART: I’m so sensitive about stuff like that. That is the one subject that means a lot to me. I made one movie directly concerning it [2004's Speak], and I made another one where my character has a horrible history of rape [2010's Welcome to the Rileys]. I talked to a lot of people about it. I used the wrong word. I should have said “violated.” But I’m young and emotional. It’s just the way it goes sometimes. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I just feel like people got so excited once they saw that it was me. It was like, “Sweet! Let’s get her!” And then for the people to exploit it under the guise of being morally upstanding is disgusting — and it embarrassed me because I was a part of it.

EW: Did you see it all unfold and then think, I have to issue an apology?

STEWART: No, I was in Korea when it all got bad. My publicist called me and said RAINN had issued this terrible statement.

ROBERT PATTINSON: Who’s Rain?

STEWART: You know, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.

PATTINSON: None of those associations came out and gave a statement [criticizing Kristen] without being called upon by the media first — who were doing it specifically to get hits on their websites. That whole system of Internet journalists, where no one is called to account, is almost entirely about hate. All these people get away with doing it because they have no responsibility to anyone. All they need is to get a salacious headline and people click on it, because it’s easy. And it’s quite good being part of these Twilight films because you have to give so many interviews all the time, you can defend yourself. That’s the only way. All of us stick together, as well. There are so many little nerds behind their computers, on their little blogs.

STEWART: See, if I said that? Crucifixion. You can say so much more than me. It’s insane.

PATTINSON: That’s not true at all. When did I say anything [controversial]?

STEWART: You’re really good, but you could say, “I just took a s***on the Queen’s face,” and people would be like, “Oh, I love him! I love him!”

She’s right about his ability to act with impunity though. Pattinson skates, always.

But there it is, that familiar refrain: celebrity persecution. It’s a Lindsay Lohan move. And Kristen Stewart just played it. She followed up her apology with an “everyone’s out to get me” whine. And her boyfriend quickly has her back, which is sweet, but his argument about the online community and nerds behind their computers is weak at best, hypocritical at worst.

Twilight thrives on an obsessive online community. Twilight blogs are invited to press junkets provided they only portray positive stories. Conventional media are given the same guidelines. Many mainstream reviewers have been told by their editors to mitigate their Twilight criticism for fear of online backlash and worse for Summit blacklist. This is why online movie sites have to be so careful with their Twilight coverage. Because if Summit pulls their access on the next film, they have no content to drive traffic to their sites. And Summit gets to call the shots on what is asked, when it’s asked, how it’s asked, and whether or not a journalist can use the washroom.

Free press?

Please.

Stewart and Pattinson have experienced then BOTH the advantages AND the disadvantages of web reporting. Guess what? That’s life motherf-ckers.

On a less controversial note, Pattinson was photographed with elephants on the set of Water for Elephants looking so, SO, SO pretty. Hooker, never EVER grow your hair again. Also attached, Stewart working it last night at the Love Ranch premiere. Hooker, never EVER grow a ponytail weave again.

And finally...

Those Twi-Hards in that lineup have only a few more hours to go before the Eclipse premiere tonight in LA. They’ve been camped out for days. As someone with mild hygiene neurosis, I consider this area a biological hazard.

Many of Robert Pattinson’s future wives were captured on camera proposing to him. The video is below. My vote is for the one at 1:03 mark.




Photos from Wenn.com and CAW/Splashnewsonline.com and Fame