Kristen at the cotillion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2009 11:13:21 November 17, 2009 11:13:21

Kristen Stewart has been lighting it up on promotion for New Moon taking her super steeze all across Europe and owning everyone else in the process.

It looked to be the same, very promising, when she showed up on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien wearing the sh-t out of a Herve Leger. Crunk ass hair, funky ass attitude, and mocking Twi-Hards with her hand tat, Stewart teased us for the main event. Expectations for style porn were very very high for her appearance on the red carpet at the New Moon Hollywood premiere, the one they were all waiting for.


It’s almost like she knew it too. She did not seem comfortable in this Oscar de la Renta. And rightly so. It’s the wrong choice. A pretty enough dress, sure. But Kristen Stewart is not a debutante. And we’re not at the Oscars. And this is something Emmy Rossum would wear.

F-ck me. Now that is the last time I ever, ever, EVER want to say that Kristen Stewart wore something that Emmy Rossum would wear. This hurts me so much.

Experimentation is good. But experimentation should be esoteric. It’s not an experiment if it panders to the MiniVan. And it’s one thing if it’s ugly but still has imagination. It’s another when it’s blithely attractive with no personality. Keep everything above the shoulders, lose that sh-t below, and please tell Kate Beckinsale to go home. Kristen Stewart doesn’t have to resort to Kate Beckinsale wannahard carpet tactics. That’s what this dress is. It’s WannaHard. KStew is too chill to Wannahard. The difference is all up in her body language. Bring back the girl we saw in Madrid.

Photos from

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