Seven years ago, Lara Flynn Boyle was parading around on the red carpet at the Golden Globe Awards in a tutu skinny as f-ck and denying there were problems.

Now?

Her face is falling down. Like literally sagging off her bones. From the weight of whatever it is that she’s pumped into it.

This is Lara Flynn Boyle at the Farmer’s Market in LA on Sunday. Jesus. It’s... terrifying. How does that happen? The easy answer is to say she overdid it, or to attribute her overdoing it to the fact that she’s demonstrably crazy. Like a Heidi Montag situation. Sure. We can go with that.

Or we can go with that in combination with a bad genetic reaction to the sh-t that is totally unpredictable. I’ve written about this before.

Look at Nicole Kidman vs Demi Moore. Same access, same resources, same opportunity, and yet one’s injection work is undoubtedly better than the other’s. Why? What if Demi’s just naturally predisposed to handle it better? What if I’m naturally predisposed to handle it like Lara Flynn Boyle?

Now approaching 37 and working in television, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. It’s not like it’s not consistently offered to me – hey Lainey, come in and try a lip filler, come in and get a shot around your lids, your forehead. So far I’ve held off. And I’m lucky. Being Asian, with our skin that doesn’t crumble until 60 at which point it’s totally over in a month, right now I’m ok.

But I can see it happening. I can see it under my eyes, I look around when I’m working the Oscars and it’s just as prevalent on both sides of the carpet, from the celebrities who are being interviewed to the international press interviewing them. So I won’t make any promises and say never, never, never but I will say that I’m a chicken sh-t paranoid and always have been. And I get more chicken sh-t paranoid when I see bitches like LFB, because it’s often more LFB than Demi, and with my luck, I’d be LFB, I’m the one whose cellular response to it will be f-cked up, worse than before, and since my face is already lopsided and not symmetrical, I’ll be the one too with a drooping jowl and a mouth swollen like genitalia after a sexually transmitted disease.

Over a few wrinkles? It’s not worth it. Yet.


Photos from Fame and Jon Kopaloff/Gettyimages.com