Except those who can actually write a book.

Ugh.

People is reporting that Lauren Conrad has signed a 3 book deal with HarperCollins – she will supposedly write them herself, a fictionalised version of her life…

Because The Hills is so real?

The series will gun for the YA reader and while Lauren’s story will certainly be influenced by her own path from Laguna to LA, she claims the content will not involve actual events in her friends’ lives…because she’d never sell them out like that.

Instead, Lauren’s plot twists will involve wardrobe crises, pool party posses, and several chapters devoted to deciphering text messages from boys.

Meanwhile, the author of what could be the next Pulitzer Prize winning manuscript is scrubbing toilets somewhere in Wisconsin, throwing the latest rejection letter in the trash because no one knows his name.

Amazing.

Attached – Lauren at the VMAs.

Photos from Wenn.com