I’ve had hernias on the mind for days, when Charlie Sheen apparently busted one last week after an allnighter with a briefcase full of cocaine. Last night, while Lea Michele was over-working it on the carpet, I thought she was going to bust one too. The concentration on her face, while posing, and adjusting, sucking in, angling her shoulders, she had the focus and the determination of a Chinese kid practising piano – what’s up Amy Chua!?!

I’m telling you, Victoria Beckham would have looked relaxed in comparison.

In her own mind, Lea is 6 inches taller, and a cross between Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie, an obvious disconnect between her true identity and her spirit identity, that is to say how we see her, and how she sees herself – yes, yes, I’m the small girl with the big voice, but I can also be the sultry, stylish, beautiful, intense, dramatic one, I could totally be that too!

Here she is last night, in a really great dress that reminds me of Kate Hudson, pre-enhancement, and she looks lovely, she really, really does. Just…sometimes it gets undermined with all the Trying, you know?

By the way, her people made a big point of arranging a seating situation and a photo with Hailee Steinfeld, the now Oscar-nominated young actress she once shunned. Like that’s supposed to convince people she’s not a f-cking bitch. Please. How is that being nice when you’re suddenly nice to a Someone you once mistakenly thought was a No One?

Photos from Kevin Winter/Frazer Harrison/AFP/Kevork Djansezian/Gettyimages.com