Lindsay Lohan went to Milan. She met a designer there. He’s called Philipp Plein. And all of a sudden, five minutes later, she’s the new face of the label, if you can call it a label, and is now, already, shooting the ad campaign.

Ummm...

You know who used to model for Philipp Plein? As in last year?

Yeah. Mischa Barton.

How much do you f-cking LOVE it?

As for the clothes - click here for an idea of what Philipp Plein offers. In other words, Guess by Marciano. Obviously not Balmain. I don’t think Balmain would choose a model with yellow crack teeth -- Jesus, look at that sh-t, along with the bloat that sits like a permanent hangover around her face. Needless to say, Philipp Plein must have a really, really small advertising budget. And he is stupid as f-ck.

Because Lindsay Lohan these days is more lethal than Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton. Everything she touches, every contact, every friend, every relationship, she brings all of it down. The last guy she was messing around with? Vikram Chatwal? A few days with Lohan and now everyone thinks he made her f-ck him for drugs while neglecting his wife and child. This is why Marc Jacobs had her removed from his show. And now Philipp Plein is attaching his entire brand to her weave? “That’s just dumb.”