She’s turning 23 on July 2nd but you’d think she’d be at least 10 years older, right?

Lindsay Lohan celebrated in Vegas over the weekend looking like she’s been opening her legs for crack for the last decade, and perhaps pimp-beaten and left in an alley on more than one occasion. With all her resources, and the access, there really is no excuse for a beautiful young girl to have deteriorated like this in such a short amount of time. But one.

Oh, wait, right. I forgot. Low classy Lilo says she’s clean.

Only Ryan Seacrest believes her. Actually, no, he probably doesn’t believe her either. But he doesn’t give a sh-t. Because as long as he can make money off her, who the f-ck cares? A reality show about people turning their lives around… with Lilo on the judging panel? Is there money to piss away? In this economy?

Needless to say, her mother is thrilled. The mother who learned everything she knows from Joe Jackson. Joe Jackson is f-cking revolting. You’ve seen this right?

Dina Lohan has watched it 8 times this morning, taking notes.

As for Lilo, well, as you can see, she was living it up at the MGM Grand on Saturday, surrounded by sycophants, soaking up the sun and the pap spotlight, changing 5 times over the course of the afternoon just to make sure every photograph sells. It’s the beginning of her birthday week – what’s to be a 10 day rager that hopefully will not culminate with her car wrapped around a tree.

Yay for child stardom.


Photos from Flynetonline.com and Wenn.com and Eric Boone/Splashnewsonline.com