Unbuttoned for court

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 24, 2010 09:42:33 May 24, 2010 09:42:33

You’re in deep sh-t with the law. The judge is pissed at your punk ass. You’re already 2 (business) days late for your appearance. So what do you wear when you finally make it to your hearing?

If you’re Lindsay Lohan, it’s a tight white shirt with the buttons undone to expose some tittays for the paps. Dina Lohan wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yes, Lilo actually dragged her skint.ass.scag down to court in LA today. The hearing concluded a little while ago. TMZ reports she will not have to go to jail. BUT the judge did order her to wear one of those ankle monitors within 24 hours and they’ll drug test her ass randomly. She also has to go to alcohol ed classes once a week. She is not allowed to leave Los Angeles. Therefore she cannot begin shooting a movie in Texas. And she must not drink alcohol or use drugs. Funny that. Why would the judge specifically order her NOT to do something if she hasn’t been doing it at all?

Lilo’s lawyer felt the terms were too harsh. She protested. And then the judge gave her the sit DOWN, retorting that she’d be happy to cite all the justifications for her decisions out loud, in front of the entire room, at which point Lilo’s lawyer shut the f-ck up.

But why?

Let us hear what’s written in those files. Let us know what we already know...

That Lindsay Lohan is a liar. That Lindsay Lohan has no regard for rules, for authority, that she does whatever she wants, when she wants. And finally she’s being called out for it.

But of course she’ll deny it. She already started denying it yesterday in an interview with HollywoodTV, a tabloid-ish agency that she’s spoken to exclusively before in what they pretend is a hard hitting conversation but what really amounts to her answering a staged set of questions, with no follow up to press her on her inconsistencies. It was a scene from a bad tv show. Are they paying her???

No surprisingly she claims she’s clean. And that doesn’t know how those two rails of cocaine were on the table in that photo released on Friday. She also says she was in Cannes not to party but to do press for her that Linda Lovelace movie...

I was in the press centre every day in Cannes. I was on carpets every night. I was surrounded by international media, by journalists from around the world, and NO ONE had heard of ANY PRESS on Lindsay’s part.

But that won’t stop the victim tears from rolling down her face. At the end, her voice catches when she’s asked about missing her brother’s graduation. Like you should feel sorry for her because she decided to cock around in Cannes instead of obeying her court mandate and flirt with Dominic Cooper instead of getting ready to fly home. Please. Just send her to the Island and throw her into the light. She’ll come out the female Smoky and then you’ll see just how worthless this bitch really is.

Photos from Wenn.com and Splashnewsonline.com

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