Best story of the week.

Lindsay Lohan is such a f-cking loser she's managed to make Charlie Sheen look like a goddamn philanthropist!

Remember when Lohan showed up at AMFAR last week in New York and everyone was surprised because she's broke ass and definitely wouldn't be able to afford a ticket or a new dress? (No one is lending her clothing anymore, please.) Turns out her benefactor wasn't a sketchy billionaire or a middle eastern oil heir but...Charlie Sheen, who already spotted her $100,000 to pay her taxes last year.

Stylist Philip Bloch told US Weekly that Charlie personally reached out to him to help her out, stressing that he'd be the one to pay the bill. And, well, even still, the best Bloch could do was Cavalli...

AND he didn't have to stay discreet either. Which is my favourite part. That he took Charlie's money and stretched it as far as he could and wants you to know it's not his best work because, um, he wasn't exactly working with the best client.

So Lindsay Lohan is That Person now, you know? If she's calling, you know she needs cash. If she's calling, you know she's made her way down her list of "benefactors", happy to oblige with hotel rooms and private jets, especially as they can be, ahem, serviced there, but not so generous with straight up financial handouts.

I would rather stay home. I would rather stay at home than suffer the indignity of calling out for cash. And for a dress?!

Not that you thought Lindsay Lohan had any integrity left, but it tells you how utterly shameless she is. Not "has become", but "is", "was", always.

Too proud to Dance With The Stars but not too proud to stick her hand out, or her ass, for a necklace and a gown? That has nothing to with addiction. That is all character.