Lindsay LOHAN somehow found someone who was willing to give her an acting job. A real acting job. Marc Fiore, producer of the Gotti biopic, crazily enough, went on record as saying she was his first choice. That she deserved a fifth chance to put her sh-t back together and he wanted to provide that opportunity.

Today however Fiore confirmed to TMZ that those plans have been shut down.


Because she’s a dumb bitch.

"It just didn't work for me. I will only ride a merry-go-round with my kids."

Apparently talks broke down because they couldn’t agree over money, and also because her management team “got out of control”, ostensibly swaggering around like she has the clout of a Kristen Stewart or an Emma Stone. Or something. Oh hi Dina. What f-ckery is it now?

This must be what they’re telling her:

“You are Lindsay LOHAN. You are giving them more publicity than they ever would have received if they hired someone else. You deserve MORE. You are worth MORE. You should demand MORE.”

Most people, in Lindsay LOHAN’s position, after f-cking up time after time after time, would get on their knees, bow their heads, stick their hands out and take what comes. Humbly. And then you prove you’re the sh-t. And then when everyone knows you’re the sh-t, then you can smug out and drop a huge Ha Ha on everyone’s ass. Including mine.

I’d eat that. Happily. It would actually be a refreshing change. To not be right about her stupidity all the time. Her sh-t is too easy to call.

So what are the chances she’ll actually make it right? Because, amazingly enough, Fiore might still take her back:

"Maybe if Lindsay calls me up, we can talk about it."

Call the man. Say yes to whatever he gives you. However little it is. Get back to work. Make it interesting for a change by doing something right. This is how Life is. And should be. That’s what my ma always said to be when I didn’t get a job after an interview or missed out on a promotion:

“Who you think you are? No one better than you? You dreaming! Keep working! You work hard, you get it one day.”

Remember when Lindsay LOHAN showed up at the Gotti movie press junket…and it turns out she’s not even in the movie?

File photo from