Two young drug addicts, two mugshots, stealing away from group therapy to fornicate in a stairwell, and an ex fiancée with a cubic zirconia shooting off her mouth to the National Enquirer?

It’s the best smut ever.

So Lilo has a new boyfriend. She met him in rehab – in and of itself a most auspicious beginning. Five minutes after getting out of treatment, Lindsay then introduces the world to her man … via OK Magazine. Of course.

Turns out Riley has an equally f&cked past. Was arrested for fraud and possession and other drug related usage and activities and spent 10 days in prison. Also allegedly took Lilo to a hotel bar as soon as she was sprung from Le Cirque. Brilliant.

Here’s his mug shot, here’s her mug shot. They look really, really good together, don’t you think? No seriously…they do. Back then he was thinner. Like Pete Doherty, Riley got clean, and then he got chubb.

But quicker than you can say Lilo Riley relapse, along comes the ex fiancée. Her name is Breanna Tierney and she sold told her story to the National Enquirer, accusing Lindsay of homewrecking her life.

"Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life.”

This is Breanna’s account of her initial encounter with the duplicitous Lilo:
"I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up. She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn"t seem sincere at all. A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to "take a break." I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay."

Can totally see Lilo playing that card, can’t you? Pretending to be someone’s best friend, then f&cking her boyfriend as soon as she turns the corner. Or worse yet, pretending to be someone’s best friend, complimenting her on her hair, then calling her fat as soon as she’s out of earshot.

Girl sh-t is the best sh-t.

And girl revenge is the best revenge. Because Breanna goes on to spill the nasty details – explaining that she knew it was over forever with Riley when “he finally confessed … that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque.”

Do you love it, or do you LOVE it???

Lindsay Lohan replacing coke with infatuation, replacing booze with the classy sensation of getting nailed from behind over a railing with her breasts pressed up against a cold concrete wall only to enjoy the afterglow not tucked in bed wrapped in his arms but stealthily tiptoeing back to her cell for fear of detection – does it get any cheaper? Dina Lohan raised her daughter well, non?

So Lilo is a manstealer. No surprise. But is she now also… a Gaystealer? Gaystealing is SO.MUCH.WORSE!!!

I reported yesterday that she is obsessed with Jessica Simpson’s body – wouldn’t put it past her to hunt down Harley Pasternak for the same training. Then she was seen at Ken Paves hair salon dipping into some cheap ass Paves extensions.

A Double Gay Theft?

Unforgivable.  If some bitch tried to steal my Main "Mo Darren I"d take a Louboutin to her eye and gouge it out with pleasure. Is that wrong?