Here’s Lindsay Lohan in the pages of the Daily Mail on NYE spreading her orange ass all over some local dude called Dario. So how drunk do you have to be to let this happen while paps are swarming the joint waiting for you to f&ck up?

I’m old and crusty now, maybe I’ve lost touch with the 20s. Maybe it’s not so low classy these days to be straddling some man with a beer gut in the middle of a club when the lights are bright as sh*t and the whole world can see you. But even as a 34 year old, I’d be afraid of what my mother would say if she ever, ever caught me in a pose like this. Even with my own husband.

My whole life she’s threatened me - my Chinese Squawking Chicken mother has always warned: if I ever catch you shaming yourself in public like you were raised by whores I’ll boil you to death just to make sure you’re properly disinfected for the afterlife.

On the contrary, by Dina Lohan’s standards, Lilo is doing her mother proud. Before, during, and after shots captured on camera of Lindsay ringing in the new year with a proper f&ck. This is Dina Lohan, after all. The woman who allegedly let a man finger her under her napkin at a restaurant in New York City.

Short of 14 year old Ali Lohan getting pregnant this year and trumping Jamie Lynn Spears by 12 months, what could possibly make Dina more proud?