Lindsay Lohan sniffed out a party in the Hamptons this weekend at AXE Lounge. Nice coke bloat. I’m bloated today too. Because Gab and I were afflicted with the Wine Flu this weekend. It’s horribly inappropriate. But we can’t stop saying it.

I’m never drinking again.

Lilo makes the same claim.

Apparently inside the party she was crying and moaning about clubgoers taking her photo but seemed to perk up dramatically when the paps came ‘round, posing with her water bottle like that totally means she’s sober.

It was never alcohol that was the problem. It’s the sh-t that keeps her up at all hours of the night, bouncing off walls, curling into balls, on the floor, in the car, clutching her blackberry, begging someone to love her.

And stealing...?

Holy Moly is reporting that while Lindsay was in London on a magazine shoot, she allegedly walked off with £30,000 worth of jewels.

They say police may investigate her broke thief ass.

Selling self tanner isn’t paying as much as she says it is…?

Photos from Lisa Wagner /