Lindsay Lohan’s interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show aired this morning. She says she’s changed and learned and is ready to move on and whatever, the same sh-t she’s been saying for years. And then, of course, when asked what she’ll be doing in 5 years, what she’ll be like at 30, the FIRST THING OUT OF HER MOUTH, right off the top, is:

“Hopefully I’ll have just come from the Oscars this past weekend.”

And that should tell you everything about Lindsay Lohan’s “comeback”.

It’s not about the work; it’s never about the journey; it certainly won’t be about the learning. With Lindsay Lohan, it’s always about the glory. Reward first, and how will it make me look?

THAT is why she’s still a loser. THAT is why she’ll always be a loser.

How will she do on Saturday Night Live? I suspect she’ll do well. I suspect she’ll be willing to mock her own misfortunes. I suspect Angelina Jolie’s right leg will make an appearance. But is it enough to put her back in movies?

Here’s the harsh truth: look at her face. In an industry that’s mostly about appearances, even if she were to get her sh-t together, even if she was totally reformed and completely transformed, there are only certain roles available for a 25 year old girl with a face that can’t go back.

I’m not trying to be mean. But if you’re a casting director and you have Elizabeth Olsen, Felicity Jones, Emma Stone, Mila Kunis, Amanda Seyfried, Kristen Stewart, and many many more to consider, WHY would you ever call back Lindsay Lohan?

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