She covers the new issue of Vanity Fair in an interview that took place BEFORE she went to jail and rehab. And apparently at one point she goes to adjust her ponytail and one of the extensions comes out. All while Lilo is trying to convince the journalist that she’s not an addict, that she doesn’t abuse alcohol, that she doesn’t pop pills, and that she’s serious about getting back to work and acting again. Remember, this went down prior to her spending a couple of weeks in prison which preceded her spending another couple of weeks in treatment.

So are you ready for the lies?

"If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [scram] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I'm taking and my father says I'm taking — so that says something, because I was fine. I've never abused prescription drugs. I never have — never in my life. I have no desire to. That's not who I am. I've admitted to the things that I've done — to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things 'cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, O.K., 'cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it."

Boring, right?

And totally overplayed.

It’s the same sh-t she said two years ago, it’s the same sh-t she says every day until they find her passed out in a car somewhere after a 72 hour bender. And to the magazine’s credit, Vanity Fair did point this out to her, that she claimed to have changed in 2008 with this statement (and every week since then) only to get busted for dumb sh-t over and over again.

No surprise, Lindsay Lohan once again insists that she’s transformed. That she works hard. That she works so hard she defies court ordered appearances and counselling sessions:

"I have to support myself. I have to pay for my apartment. I have to pay for food. People root for me and say they want me to work, but then everyone's against me."

Really? Because this is Lindsay yesterday shopping and spending, a smug bitch expression on her face, clearly hoarding away all that money so she won’t go homeless. And this is Lindsay the night before, with a friend at the Chateau Marmont, because, what, she’s allowed to go out, you know, she’s allowed to relax, she’s allowed to haunt the places that have always tempted her, that have always troubled her, without judgement, without everyone believing she’s f-cked. After all, it was at the Chateau where Lilo acknowledges herself, during the interview, that she lost her way:

"I didn't have any structure. In the beginning, I had structure, and then I lost all the structure in my life. I think a lot of it was because when I was doing my first slew of movies, it was very go-go, and I had a lot of responsibility, and I think just the second I didn't have [structure] anymore -- I was 18, 19 -- with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn't do certain things … And I see where that's gotten me now, and I don't like it."

Well it’s hard to disagree with her there. Because it’s all true. Except for the 18 or 19 part. She was in fact much younger. Like 16 or 17 when Dina let her go off to live at the Chateau, to mess around without supervision and/or, as Lilo says, Structure, which is actually one of the 5 principles that form the basis for the Continuum of Care at Covenant House – wayward young celebrities and street kids all lack structure, and are therefore governed by instability, which only exacerbates anxiety and confusion.

Dina Lohan refuses to accept responsibility for allowing her daughter to live in free fall. Ultimately however, it’s Lindsay who cannot actually fully own those words. This truly is a person who regurgitates what sounds good, without actually knowing what that sh-t means.

But that doesn’t matter as long as people are buying it.

Is anyone buying it?

Maybe in a few months but definitely not yet.

She still has to submit to drug testing. She still has to attend alcohol education classes. She is still in outpatient treatment for addiction at UCLA. She is still making terrible decisions. And as noted in Vanity Fair from a publicist who has watched all this go down:

"She's Hollywood kryptonite right now. No one wants their name mentioned in the same breath as hers."

Because it’s not only that she has to convince people, and get her sh-t right enough to stay focused on a film set, it’s also that there are SO MANY other options now, what does Lindsay Lohan have to offer that Emma Stone can’t? When would you ever make that choice? She can blame it on perception and play the victim card all she wants, but ultimately, Hollywood is small, and Hollywood replaces, and even if Lilo gets clean, even if she straightens out, even if she gets back on track forever, there’s a reason why the most common nightmare in Hollywood is called Too Late and Closed Doors. If ever there was a consequence in show business, this one would be the one they fear the most.

(By the way, please vote for Covenant House here in the Pepsi Refresh Contest for a $100,000 gift to help homeless youth rebuild their lives!)

Photos from and and SPW/