It’s Mean Girls all over again.

And it’s the ongoing saga of that skint.agg.scag Lindsay Lohan who insists on cocking up her life over and over again. She was supposed to get on a plane this morning from France to head back to LA for her DUI progress hearing. Yesterday they were floating around the excuse that she might not make it due to volcanic ash. Please. The ash is only affecting flights to the UK. France to Germany and then connecting to North America – at press time – is fine.

So we need a new bullsh-t reason. Because she’s still in Cannes. And TMZ reports that she’s lost her passport. She WILL miss the court appearance. Her lawyer explained that:

"I was on the phone with Lindsay's assistant the entire night and we're doing everything we can to resolve this issue and get her back to L.A. Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes and appear in court tomorrow."

Was it really her intention?

Last night Lilo was at a party. At around 2am when she was dancing and flirting with Dominic Cooper, and eyewitnesses at the party say she certainly didn’t seem too “distraught” about her passport. When they mysteriously left together around 3am she absolutely didn’t seem too “distraught”. And when they returned and giggled and suggestively whispered with each other until well past 5am, “distraught” was the last word you’d use to describe her.

Save your f-cking lies for your mother.

This bitch has no regard for authority, principle, no respect for anyone or anything beyond what SHE wants to do. You are welcome to continue to insist that this is sad smut. But there’s nothing sad about a crank twat who just can’t get her priorities straight because she’s SELFISH. Sad smut wasn’t the reason she was getting down with Dominic Reid. Sad smut isn’t the reason she’s here in the first place. She’s here because she’s an asshole. And you know she will be lording this over Amanda Seyfried the first chance she gets. It’s who Lindsay is.

As for Dominic Cooper, I interviewed him this morning at 10:30am. He was managing rather well. Will fill you in on this shortly. Suffice to say, he’s still in Cannes. And so is Lindsay. And curiously enough, on the advance tip sheet for a party happening tomorrow night, her name was ON IT. So if she was supposed to be back in LA, how come someone told the party organisers that she’d be showing up?

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