She needs one. Badly.

This is Lindsay Lohan last night in LA at the Saints Row: The Third party. You know, I have to get over my prejudice against video gaming events as, like, celebrity stops. Video games are throwing the most money around these days. The famous people, they go where the cash is. And they always have. So what if there’s a console involved now?

Of course Lohan was invited. Of course she showed up and took over the carpet. It’s like she’s feeding when the flash goes off. And why not? Are those new fillers in her cheeks? Look at the shots where she tries to smile, the indentations on each side of her face - she’s starting to resemble a ventriloquist’s dummy. And then...there’s the matter of her teeth.

Nothing says 25 and attractive like a set of ash grey teeth. Lohan can’t pay her transportation fees, is she too poor to pay a dentist? But all of that you can let slide if there was actually a decent person underneath the weave and plastic surgery.

Lindsay Lohan was assigned, as part of her probation, to perform community service at the Downtown LA Women’s Centre. She chose instead to go to Milan Fashion Week and to Paris to hang out with Euro douchebags. So again, don’t ask me to feel sorry for her. There’s a long list of people who deserve your sympathy before she does.