Lindsay and Dina Lohan scrapped last night. They were at a club at 4am. On their way home to Long Island they started slapping each other. Lindsay has a cut on her leg and her ma broke her bracelet. The cops were called on a domestic. No one was arrested.

I would like to believe that Dina was finally giving her daughter some structure -- at dawn, after a night of partying. I would like to believe that she was finally trying some tough love and discipline. But that would be dumb. Because, well, that would be what a decent mother would do. And Dina is not decent.

No, it turns out that Dina was drunk. According to TMZ Mother Lohan was “wasted” and the two were arguing about whether or not the limo should take her home to Long Island first or drop off Lindsay at her hotel. THIS is what these people throw down over -- a limousine and not even a bump of cocaine? I think I might be disappointed.

At press time, neither Lohan has commented. Oh but it’s coming. You know it’s coming. And who will they blame this time? I nominate those Honey Boo Boo people. They’ve been getting much too much press lately.