The inexplicably famous comedian Lisa Lampinelli is in trouble today for using the n-word. Not that the context even really matters, but it’s kind of interesting/weird to note that she used the word in a tweet to describe Lena Dunham, with an accompanying twitpic of them at an award show. To me Lisa has always had a strong unfunny-morning-radio vibe, so I can’t say I’m particularly surprised that she would use this word, but what’s shocking is how stupid the defense is.

Defense #1) She Likes Lena Dunham
Over on the Huffington Post, Lisa’s quoted explaining that she used the word to mean “friend”, so everyone should just calm the f-ck down. She would never DREAM of calling Lena a bad word because she’s thinks Lena’s just the best. Um, Lisa? We’re actually not worried about Lena. It’s not the one white girl whose feelings were sensitive to when it comes to this word.

Defense #2) You Just Don’t Get It
Today Lisa’s Twitter feed is full of RTs from different people supporting her, people Lisa says “get the joke”. The joke? Which is what? That an old white lady is using black slang to describe another white person? Is this some kind of rapping granny bit? I’m no comedian, I’m not even especially smart, but I still have a hard time believing that anyone who’s appeared on The Celebrity Apprentice is capable of writing material that goes over my head.

Defense #3) But She ALWAYS Uses the N Word
Lisa’s also insisting that using the n-word in 2013 is totally cool because she’s done it like a billion times before. Apparently her standup, which I admit I have never seen, has always included this and many other racial slurs. Therefore everyone should just accept this because she’s too stuck in her ways to change now? What kind of logic is that? Like, should we just all embrace the Westborough Baptist Church because they’ve got a long history of being bigoted sh*theads?

Defense #4) Reappropriation
“It’s about taking the hate out of the word” she says today, but who gave her the idea this is something she can do? No matter how many times we hear this word in music or film, it’s so obvious that people are not going to be ok with white people using it. Why do people keep insisting this is changing for the sake of comedy? Why do you need this word, Lisa Lampanelli? This word does not belong to white people, we simply cannot have it.