This is not Givenchy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 24, 2010 08:05:31 May 24, 2010 08:05:31

Or G-Star. Remember a couple of years ago when Taupe Jennifer Garner wore the ugliest dress ever and we were all appalled? Click here for a refresher. Well this weekend Liv Tyler took it upon herself to snatch that title away from Mrs Affleck with ... this. I can barely stand to look at it.

My mother and my mother in law could not be more different. My mother in law is soft spoken and accommodating. My mother is loud, brash, critical, and will only accommodate you if it doesn’t interfere with her plans for mah-jong, the casino, Chinese opera lessons, getting her nails done, or shopping.

Ah yes. Shopping.

My mother goes shopping almost every day. My mother has so much clothing they bought a huge ass storage in the parking garage of their condo that is the size of half their apartment and still she’s running out of space. My mother in law however, well they came from Poland quite late in life. They had to save. They busted their asses raising two boys, buying their home, putting away for grandchildren and retirement, so my Poles, they don’t know about frivolity. Quite the opposite actually. They almost thrive on their lack of frivolity. Martyring is a Polish skill. They would win gold at every Olympics.

Needless to say then, clothing was never a priority. Which is why my mother in law, bless her, is still wearing hers from the 1970s. And not the 1970s made cool by Kate Moss. I mean the 1970s that will never come back. Like full body denim dresses. Like what Liv Tyler is modelling here.

What the f-ck is happening?

My mother in law is not the spokesperson for Givenchy. Liv Tyler IS the spokesperson for Givenchy. And G-Star. And she looks like a Tai Heung Lay, an expression used by Hong Kong people to denote those who, um, live in the country. You know, they wear pantyhose and sneakers and a fake LV from Canal Street. WHY then does Liv Tyler look like one?

Photos from Brian Flannery/ and L. Dixon/

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