Let’s start off saying that I’m operating at a little bit of a Louis Tomlinson deficit, in that, like most people, Harry and Zayn were the only two One Directioners whose last names I could have sworn to at gunpoint, and if I were going to choose a third, it might have been Niall. Maybe.

But I learned him in a hurry on the weekend, because the rumors about what the baby was called were flying. FLYING. First it was reported that the baby was Sydney Rain, despite the gender of the baby never being debated. (Usually, Sydney is the girl spelling, Sidney the boy’s, and yes, I suppose if you had a particular affinity for Australia you could use the other, but let’s not get off track, okay?) 

Then I heard that no, it wasn’t that at all, it was Conchobar, which, yes, is pronounced ‘Connor’. I have to assume this was trolling and distraction, because the rage and memes of the fans when they heard this was amazing and probably kept Louis and his baby mother Brianna Jungwirth amused.

And then it was announced that the baby’s name is Freddie Reign (not Frederick? How rhymey, Louis and Freddie) and I kind of go…did they float a name, gauge the reaction, and then change it, or in the case of Rain/Reign, alter the spelling? Is that a method now? Can you road-test a name and then revise before the official announcement? 

I’m not sure if I’m more tired at the idea that this is a thing, or that it might be a strategy recommended by an overeager publicist, and soon to be adopted by the next generation of parents.