Last week Madge’s daughter updated her blog and, as all 14 year old girls do, Lola moaned about hating her hair and wanting to change the colour. To blue. Note her mother’s reaction:

I don’t know if any of you saw my hair yet but its mad dark right at the moment, I’m almost sick of it and now I want royal blue hair but not a streak, like my entire head. I’m sure if I get that hair color I’ll be sick of it after about two weeks. I am recovering from getting a second piercing in my ear. I’m not going to be all cool and say I wasn’t scared but I was. I was crapping myself . I mean like, ok im getting another hole in my head. Also my brother didn’t help, he was there with me and was telling me all of these horrifying things about how my ear was going to blow up and how they were going to pierce it with a spear. It was just ..yeah.

I read this blog aloud to my mother and she is sitting here staring at me with no expression on her face, as if she doesn’t approve of it! So now you all know what I have had to put up with for the past 14 years of my life

I had to laugh about the “no expression on her face” because, well, obviously.

Lola sounds 14. She writes 14. She fangirls over Harry Potter. She loves Harry “vair vair” much. It’s hilarious, although I wonder if she knows how to write like a proper non-internet person. I’m not actually sure that in 20 years these kids will be able to. Click here for more from Lola.

As for her ma – she was in London last night, went for dinner at The Wolseley. What’s up Lorella? When Lorella and I were there last summer we gorged ourselves on Deep Fried Whitebait with tartare sauce. Pretty sure that’s not what Madonna ate. She went with a group that included her supposed new boyfriend Brahmin, a dancer. He’s 24. She also doesn’t look as f-cked up in the cheeks. Or maybe that’s just the angle.

Photos from