Chinese people don’t wear green hats. Wearing a green hat means you’ve been cuckolded and who wants to walk around advertising that they’ve been chumped?

Check out Lucy Liu on the set of Cashmere Mafia the other day. Hopefully she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And too bad whoever’s styling this set sucks ass. There’s only one Patricia Field, you know what I mean? And a girl like Lucy simply cannot, cannot, cannot work the pull up socks with the open toe sandals. It’s atrocious. It’s atrocious because some Asian ladies just off the boat actually dress like this. In Cantonese we call it “Heung ha po” – Old Village Hag. The ones who come to the big city and pick their noses in public and eat with their mouths open.

Needless to say, it’s not Lucy’s best look.

And the school girl outfit, the mix match plaid isn’t quite right either. I call it the Curse of the Fook. Have you seen Austin Powers in Goldmember? There’s a scene when Austin is about to make it with twin Hello Kitties – Fook Mi and Fook Yu. Little Harajuku whores with their pigtails and their backpacks told to suppress their own brains and focus instead on developing the perfect giggle.

This is the Curse of the Fook. Unfortunately, this here is Lucy Liu. But hopefully this is also just a dream sequence. Because before you know it, someone ignorant f&ck with an Asian fetish is going to ask her if she’s from Korea and whether or not she gives massages. I’m telling you…this happens. Which would be the worst way to kick off the fact that an Asian has taken a headlining role in a big budget new television show.


UPDATE: Dex just wrote to tell me that Patricia Field IS styling the show. Which means the poor thing but be so tired she"s running out of juice. Same could also be said for the show as a whole? And Lipstick Jungle too? After all, can you recapture the magic of Sex & The City?

Hell na.