Madonna took her new boychildfriend out last night in London. Apparently they were stalking dancers. They say she’s planning another tour.

There was a time when I would throw myself on the ground weeping fangirl tears at the mere mention of a Madonna tour. Now? Meh.

I want her back the way she was.

It’s hard to explain.

Cheeky, fun, funny, without a scary face, not trying to direct profound clunker movies, cool as f-ck – is she still in there? The way she was in the video below?

I have a friend called Iain. He’s the most ardent Madonna freak in my life, a true Professional Fan. And he sent this to me two days ago. Just for old time’s sake.

Madonna’s 10th Anniversary message to MTV, have you ever seen it? I was in my last year of high school. My bf at the time Elvi and I were obsessed with her. We performed Madonna shows all the time at school during assemblies. We even choreographed and won a lipsync competition – Elvi as M, and our other friend Jenn and I were the backups Donna and Niki. You remember them from Truth or Dare, right?

Anyway, Elvi actually chose this monologue as her big final Drama project. She delivered it exactly as M did, practised for weeks. We watched it over and over again. Elvi, if you’re reading this and you still have those tapes, throw them on a DVD. Let’s make it a viewing party.

Note what she says about the plastic surgery. That made me laugh.

Photos from and