Madonna and Elvis inextricably linked. At least to me on this day. It’s her birthday. She’s 53. Madonna is 53. This is our world...?

Indeed. And in our world, Madonna at 53 is dating Brahim Zaibat at 24. He’s a dancer. He’s French. They spent the weekend in the Hamptons kissing on the beach. Click here to see the photos. Ha ha. The jokes, the jokes. Because you’ll note that her daughter Mercy and son David were there too. So which one isn’t her kid? Hilarious. Really? Apparently Brahim’s ma is 8 years younger than M.

It’s not so much that she’s sleeping with someone less than half her age. Or, it’s not JUST that she’s sleeping with someone less than half her age. It’s this in addition to, on top of, combined with what she’s doing to her face, the ceaseless procedures to fight her 50s, that suggest that the woman who claims to be so very self-actualised doesn’t seem to be all that comfortable letting it happen. Madonna as an example of Cognitive Dissonance? Note then that 64 year old Susan Sarandon dating that 33 year old ping pong guy doesn’t seem to bother people as much as Madonna’s relationships both with Brahim and previously with Jesus Luz. Is it because Susan is 64 and not trying to be 34? If Madonna at 53 fronted like she was ok being 53 and wasn’t fighting being 53, would Madonna and Brahim 24 be less of a thing?

Here they all are - Madonna, Brahim, and all four of her children arriving in London today. It appears that Rocco exclusively wears track suits and I wonder if the inspiration for it is Ali G from his mother’s Music video which... this is very, very funny to me. Just me?

Photos from