Madonna opened Sticky & Sweet in Cardiff the other night and by all accounts did not disappoint. Even if she was 90 minutes late.


You expected her to care about your schedule???

The costumes and the choreography – “breathtaking”. The visual effects – state of the art. Her body – sick and scary. Seriously. She’s 50. I’ve been running my ass off every day for weeks training for a race on Sunday and I still have to tuck in my jiggly parts when they sneak out of my shorts. And I’m 15 years younger than this crazy bitch.

But this is the Madonna standard. In many ways, she should have been Chinese. Nothing short of perfection is acceptable. A silver medal is failure. Gold at all costs. If we’re discussing 3 year old prospective athletes, it’s more than a little alarming. As an entertainer though…

They should all be made like this machine.

Unlike that ungrateful little punk ass Avril Lavigne who plays for barely more than an hour before f&cking off to go pick her nose.

Why compare Avril to The Madge?

Because Avril has the audacity to call herself an artist and go on tour.

Punk…sit the f&ck DOWN.

You can slag Madonna for torturing her own face, for punishing her own body, for her shameless manipulation of the media. But don’t slag Madonna for effort and preparation.

Many of you – and me too! – have paid upwards of $300 to see her on this tour. And she busted her half century ass all summer to make sure every penny is worth it.

Now THAT is a professional.

PS. Am planning a screening party for Truth or Dare the week Madge performs in Toronto. Wanna come?

PS. The much-hyped Britney video played during Human Nature. Clip below. Kinda underwhelming EXCEPT… Britney’s expression at the very end: It’s Britney bitch. She looks good, non? She looks like herself again. Like herself without the medicated haze. We are 2 weeks from the VMAs. Can this be possible???

Photos from