You know I love her. And I will defend her to the end. Almost the end. Against Guy Ritchie’s leaks, against the misogyny of the UK papers, I will defend her right to show off her body, to date younger as long as its legal, Madge and I we disagree over her obsessive workout regimen and what she does to her face but for the most part, I am a follower. I will go where she leads me.

But I will not go to Ed Hardy.

Madonna met recently with Christian Audigier and has been pimping Ed Hardy tshirts and caps for years, now word is she’s releasing her own line through the label – a deal reportedly worth six figures.

As you know, Madge a couple of years ago successfully collaborated with H&M on a smash hit collection. But that’s H&M.

You’ve seen Ed Hardy, right?

Ed Hardy is clothing for douchebags and strippers. You know the cheesedick with the manicured facial hair and too many rings and too much cologne, swaggering down the Strip in Vegas with his buddies, shouting “F-ckin’ rights, man!” at random intervals… you know him?

That’s who wears Ed Hardy.

Ed Hardy is a dealbreaker. Along with a Dodge Magnum. Like if the man of my dreams, if James McAvoy walked into my life wearing Ed Hardy I’d tell him to jump up his own ass.

Now Madonna is designing clothes for Ed Hardy?

Your Madgesty…please…please.

Drag around your personal Jesus – go ahead. But please no Ed Hardy. Never Ed Hardy.


File photos from