As reported earlier, the Brange will present - likely separately - at the Globes on Sunday. And now comes word that Madonna will also be handing out a trophy.

They’ve never met. Officially.

But they’ve exchanged testy words in public.

And, as a reader called Stacey reminded me of recently, they also both slept with, at one point or another, Jenny Shimuzu. According to Shimuzu, there was some overlap. And Madonna felt she may have been #2 to the Jolie’s #1 in that particular area. You add that to the Mother Queen competition they have going and it’s a great storyline for us heading into the Golden Globes.

Either way, we win. If they snub each other...awesome. If they decided to play nice and smile while locking down their jaws, that’s amazing too. Especially the photo opportunity. We’ll all be playing Photo Assumption.

Anyway, so there’s to be a lot of Madge on the way. Madge overload for weeks. Madge on the award circuit, Madge’s new album, Madge’s movie, Madge’s tour, and Madge’s movie. Madge, then, is now pitching you. On all the sh-t she wants you to buy.  

Have you seen her interview on Nightline?

I’ve attached the videos below.

Why is she sitting so awkwardly? That looks uncomfortable doesn’t it? But she had to position herself in the best light, see? With good posture, even if it means that her calves were bumped up against the couch, pushed flat to look bigger than they are.

TRUST ME. Madonna would have noticed and cared. Only she had to prioritise her face over her legs. This is what you do.

Note the use of “whilst”. Like who actually SAYS “whilst” out loud, when you’re not reading or writing?

Well, the same person who pronounces it “ROW-mantic”. Listen to how she gets out that sentence, “That’s the ROW-mantic in me” with her hilarious English accent. It’s the best.

The defence of Wallis Simpson though, I mean...

She’s an authority on her now, don’t you see? Never mind the historians; Madonna will not hear a word on anyone telling her that Wallis and Edward were Nazi sympathisers. No one has ever been able to convince her of such, because the evidence, according to Madonna, simply isn’t there.

I do however like her answer on the subject of paparazzi and privacy. She acknowledges that it can be unpleasant but makes sure to end that discussion quickly by calling it a “high class problem”. A small, very small price to pay. You see Daniel Craig?

Here’s Madonna arriving in LA in advance of Sunday’s Globes.