As you know, the Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce is being played out publicly on an hourly basis in the UK tabloids. Conflicting reports are being released every day – some in favour of Madonna but most in favour of Guy: that she’s a control freak, that there’s no tv allowed at the house, that her family members are only permitted to graze on spelt and flax seed, that she forced the Kab down everyone’s throat…and the list goes on.

According to British gossips, Guy endured years of torment by an aging superstar whose hunger for fame will never be sated. As such, when he could take no more, pushed to the limit by her suspicious relationship with Alex Rodriguez, Guy forced his way out, emerging from the carnage a hero who dared stand up to a tyrant.

Please.

Her Madgesty is no angel and she’s a manipulative calculating bitch and it’d probably be a challenge to defend her if you want to call her a whore too and the MiniVan Majority doesn’t think it appropriate for a 50 year old woman to prance around in a leotard but why then is it alright for the boys? No one complains quite as loudly when a 50+ year old rocker walks around without his shirt on.

Isn’t that what the song was about?

Do you know…what it feels like
For a girl?


And don’t think for a second Guy didn’t have his own strategy.

Remember Revolver? Of course you don’t. Because you didn’t see it. No one did. Revolver sucked all kinds of ass. And no one could blame it on Madonna. After Revolver, Guy had to practically beg to make another movie. He did so, with RocknRolla, largely by leveraging on his wife’s influence. And if the divorce announcement had been leaked PRIOR to the deal getting done, do you think they would have let him direct Sherlock Holmes?

Madonna threw an after Oscars party this year that was THE destination for the A List. Coincidence or conspiracy?

No doubt, the Brits will defend their own. And Madonna is an easy target anyway.

What makes things interesting is whether or not Guy is using the Madge-hating press in his favour.

The Mail on Sunday was somehow able to publish these never before seen photos from the ultra private Madonna/Guy wedding at Skibo Castle in 2000. She has never sold them, it was never her intention to release them, and suddenly, now that the two are battling over her massive fortune, suddenly we know what her dress was like (SO beautiful!), and how she wore her hair (with a crown), and even what my best friend Gwyneth looked like that night…

Wouldn’t you know it, all happening at the same time, now The Sun – the first to report on the divorce and one step ahead of everyone else on the split – is claiming that the two have reached a deal. Guy gets in the neighbourhood of US$60 million and the country estate but only if he signs a gag order prohibiting him from ever discussing their marriage publicly.

Well played Guy…well played.

But all he wants is access to the kids, right?

Madonna falls for hard men. Hard on the heart, hard on the soul, now hard on the wallet. Trust.

More importantly though – wedding pics are WAY more interesting than baby pics!

And I’ve been dying to see these for almost 8 years.

That dress… if you’re getting married in a castle, it has to be that dress. This is no Katie Holmes.

On the contrary, to me anyway, this is the best I’ve seen. The sleeves, the veil, the tiara, every detail was perfect. And she looked …

Happy.

We debated about this the other night.

She looked happy…but can Madonna ever BE happy? Forgive the nauseous Oprah moment but if she never surrenders, how can she ever find happiness?

Whatever.

Too deep.

Let this f-ckery with ARod end soon. And bring on Colin Farrell.

Photos removed as requested by counsel.

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