I just tried to imagine my Mimi tucked under a Christmas tree with her hair arranged around her the way they do wedding gowns, and her cleave propped up on a few presents, with her ass positioned towards the camera, and it filled me with such yearning -- why have we not seen this yet?

Because, stupid, Mimi doesn’t belong under a tree, she should be ON TOP OF IT. She is our angel. It is her rightful place.

Mimi sang the lights on at Rockefeller Centre yesterday. The performance was taped to be broadcast tonight. It was All I Want For Christmas, obviously. Is that her most lucrative song? It has to be. How many butterflies have been rescued by that song?

As you can see, Santa was recruited to help her stand. Also some kids. Check it -- at 1:38 one of them actually has to hold her hand to walk 3 steps. This is a very effective way of using children.