30 pounds of As IF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2011 14:38:13 November 9, 2011 14:38:13
Mimi is the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig! And thereΓÇÖs been an unveiling!

As you can imagine, I have watched the unveiling, like, at least a dozen times. IΓÇÖve also, for your viewing pleasure, screen capped many of the best parts. Of her body. That are obscured and shadowed and angled and, um, maybe even retouched, all amounting to what she claims is a 30 pound weight loss since she started the Jenny program on July 22 which has resulted in her now sitting at a very petite size 4 or 6.

Um...

As IF.

As IF Mimi wasnΓÇÖt the one who had her assistants sew in a smaller number to her jeans all those years ago, remember???

You know whoΓÇÖs a size 6? Julia Roberts was a size 6 in Pretty Woman. I know you remember this. As IF Mariah Carey has ever been the same size as Julia Roberts since Vision of Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at these shots of her alleged stomach. Like, IΓÇÖm not super comfortable with pointing out all of a womanΓÇÖs body parts and scrutinising them for size in this era of f-cked up imagery and unrealistic expectation and I donΓÇÖt doubt she worked hard - however thatΓÇÖs defined for her - but THIS, what sheΓÇÖs doing here, THIS has so much to do with it because if sheΓÇÖs fronting, with all her digitised video editing and clever camera angling that this is what she ΓÇ£reallyΓÇ¥ looks like, having lost 30 pounds and achieving a size 4 or 6, itΓÇÖs not only, um, a major Mimi exaggeration, itΓÇÖs also really, really irresponsible. Because what sheΓÇÖs implying that what she probably is - closer to an 8, right? come ON now - is unacceptable...

Since when???

And since when has a weight loss video been so...UN-transparent?

What is this supposed to be mean? Why is she tearing out if some kind of pantyhose harem? Is it a striptease or are you showing me how skinny you are? If thatΓÇÖs the case, give me some f-cking light, woman! How am I supposed to appreciate the results when youΓÇÖve got the Moroccan Room mood lighting up in here??? And if youΓÇÖre so proud of what youΓÇÖve achieved, the obvious question is WHY do you have to go to so many shenanigans to show it off?!?

Still...I love her. I mean, all the things I have always loved about Mimi make up this entire video. What else could we have possibly expected from Mimi? And, as youΓÇÖd expect, along with the imagery comes her words, her words, her words about her favourite subject: herself.

Carey says she had a few indulgences during her pregnancy, including sugary drinks, soul food and pizza. But she doesn't know how much weight she gained because she didn't weigh herself. "I was walking around the house, pregnant and miserable, looking at mirrors and saying: "Why did I put so many mirrors in my house?' "


See?

You laughed!

By the way, something else to make you laugh, at least it makes me laugh, because the visual...

Apparently Mimi sticks to only ΓÇ£aquaticΓÇ¥ workouts. When I think Mimi in the water, all I ever picture is this.

Anyway, click here for more on Mariah and Jenny.

And below...

Enjoy. Enjoy it SO.MUCH.

There is another version here.


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