This has been a week filled with f-cked up darkness. I’d like to end it where it began – with joy and narcissism. Mimi, obviously.

Mimi kicked off this week with a morning appearance on Live! with Kelly. I’m still surprised she was able to make it to the show because, well, as you know, oh sweetie, Mimi just doesn’t do the AM. But it was a pyjama show. Kelly Ripa and guest co-host Jussie Smollett wore standard (beautiful – look at Kelly’s pants, they’re gorgeous) sleepless. Mimi? Mimi shows up in a f-cking teddy. With heels. To sit on a stool.

She’s in a good mood though, despite the hour, because it quickly becomes clear that Jussie is a member of the lambily. He worships her. He has studied her. He knows all her sh-t. He knows all her shade. So when she’s not looking at the confidence monitor – which is almost the whole time, staring at herself the entire show – she’s preening in his direction. You’ll notice though, hilariously, at one point, Kelly and Jussie start comparing their fake tattoos, taking the attention off of Mimi. Please pay close attention at this point. She is not here for people to not talk about her. And it shows.

Mimi ended the week with a visit to Jimmy Kimmel. The show aired after the NBA Finals Game 1. So Jimmy decides to ask her about sports. This is where I lost it. Because these are the words that actually came out of her mouth:

“I was always a fast runner.”

??!!!!!!!!?????????????

Can you imagine Mimi running…fast? I can’t. I could drop acid and not be able to imagine her running, slow or fast. But there she is, telling Jimmy Kimmel, that she was always a fast runner.

And from there the entire interview is a straight up scream. Because eventually they head into the bathtub, with bubbles, and you can actually see her visibly come into her true realness, our butterfly sequin mermaid.

Live! with Kelly interview:

Kimmel interview: