People Magazine just named its Hottest Bachelor…

Mario Lopez?

Call me Cruise but I’m not into beefcakes and Chippendale’s dancers. Don’t like men who walk around in beaters. Not only am I not attracted to him, I actually find it kinda repulsive. Even more, I find it offensive. I find it offensive that somehow this gives some people the idea that women want THIS. I don’t know any women who want this. I would stop knowing any women who wanted this.

And please… how can he be named Hottest Bachelor when most of the world doesn’t know who the f&ck he is???

Is there a science to this sh*t? What are the requirements? Are there so few famous single men they had to scrape the D List for Mario Lopez???

Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe Mario inspires a massive earthquake between your legs and I’m a blind bat for not seeing it. Maybe the MiniVan likes men like Mario.


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