First of all, what colour is he exactly? Did you see the telecast? To borrow from Bridget Jones, next to Scarlett Johansson, McConaughey was practically purple. Was it like that on your tv too?

You know, I promise you in real life, his lady is spectacular. I wasn’t into her big ass dress mainly because it looks taffeta to me, but my friend Laura, this is a Laura dress. Laura’s the one who has a Robert Pattinson problem. Like, if Robert Pattinson takes her to the Oscars one day, that’s exactly the dress she’d choose for herself.

Here’s the thing that surprised me about McConaughey. After the show, he walked hand in hand with Camila Alves back down the carpet towards the valet. Amazingly enough, the Oscar valet system doesn’t work the way you’d expect with advance pick up and such. With the exception of maybe five very, very, very privileged people, everyone has to wait in line, doesn’t matter who you are. As they approached the valet stop, Matthew dropped Camila’s hand, rather abruptly, and took off ahead without her. She ended up having to trot after him, all awkward and sh-t in her heels and her gown, looking as if she’d been abandoned. I found it a little surprising coming from him. He fronts like he’s all gentlemanly and chivalrous. It wasn’t very chivalrous.

PS. Camila changed into a different dress for the Vanity Fair party. Errrrm.. that seems a little extra to me. Like, Sandra Bullock didn’t change, I’m just saying.

Photos from