I posted a photo of myself on Twitter earlier from my “royal wedding attire” shoot with Hilary Alexander at Selfridges. She styled me in a Matthew Williamson dress that many of you have been asking me to identify. That exquisite hat, however, is from her own personal collection. She said she wants me to wear it on Royal Wedding Day while reporting on the event. OMG.

Anyway, after our exhilarating morning of shopping, I came back to the hotel to find this story sitting in my inbox about Williamson. Williamson will NOT be designing Kate Middleton’s wedding gown. It’s rumoured to be Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen. Needless to say, Matthew isn’t, um, being super gracious about it:

"Kate isn't a fashion bunny. I don't know why everyone in fashion is waiting to see what she wears. I'm, like, thinking: get over it."

Errrr… please.

You know he would have jerked off outside Buckingham Palace every morning for the privilege of being selected. And besides…

Is he really talking down at Kate Middleton?

Princess Catherine???

Seven days ago, Matthew was walking around London Fashion Week with Olivia Palermo. Who? Exactly. Olivia Palermo is some useless twat from The Hills and/or The City and this is not a time for you to be a know-it-all and tell me which one it was because the fact that I can’t remember and can’t bother to look it up is exactly the f-cking point.

Kate Middleton >>>>>>>>>>>>> Olivia goddamn Palermo

By the way, I also heard that Vivienne Westwood hasn’t been keen on the Wedding in general either. Which says to me that they ALL wanted to dress Kate. The more you care, the more it shows.

To read more about Matthew Williamson being a bitch, visit UK Vogue here.

Also attached – Prince William in Christchurch, New Zealand where he toured areas devastated by earthquake and met with members of the rescue teams. I think his adorable maori kiss almost makes up for the hair situation.

PS. Hilary Alexander actually put me in a Vivienne Westwood dress today and I’m telling you, you want to say – are you kidding? –when it’s on the hanger and then as soon as you throw that sh-t on, suddenly you understand, it will tell you how to stand and move and it will DEMAND to be posed in. I guess that’s why it costs so much.

Photos from Wenn.com and Martin Hunter/Hannah Johnston/Pool/Gettyimages.com