May 15, 2013 -- Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2013 13:22:23 May 15, 2013 13:22:23

Anna! Congratulations on Esme’s arrival! GossipCon loves you and is so excited and can’t wait to start training her!

To Joanna -- I’m sorry about the sh-tty start to your year, literally! Without knowing your specific sign and birth times, it’s hard to prescribe a feng shui game plan to change your luck. At the same time, as my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, has always said about these things -- luck comes in waves, high and low. How you manage the low points is almost more important because it will determine how long the high points last. Feng shui will test you to determine whether or not you are worthy. Keep your head down. Do not invest. Do not push. Do not take risks. It’s like the harvest -- gather and hoard and steady yourself. And if you do it right, by the time you get through this losing streak, the winning streak may be exponentially more lucrative. It won’t last, I promise. You just have to be patient. I’m dedicating to you the scene below. I watched it the other day. For 25 years this part, this music, has always made me feel...hopeful.

And for Claire who has a bum knee -- I’m sorry about what happened and while I can’t make up a story to get you through your horrible week, I can tell you that there’s a girl who’s pregnant and even though she says she says that her steady is the father, she’s really not sure it’s not one of her co-stars, who sleeps with almost all their colleagues and with whom she used to bootycall on the regular. Depends on what the mouth looks like when the baby comes.  Does that help a little?

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