I don’t hate on Megan Fox as hard as other people. She says dumb sh-t. She has a weird pretend face. She’s crazy and temperamental. But I have more time for Megan than, say, Shelfy. Which doesn’t mean I love her, of course not. Just that, well, now and again I am capable of saying nice things about her. Today’s not really one of those days though.

At the Passion Play afterparty on Friday night – there were strict instructions pertaining to her arrival: no photos, don’t shoot her, no interviews, leave her alone. Jesus, please. Why did you even bother?

She was late. Later than everyone else. Later than Bill Murray – more on him later. She was with Brian Austin Green. And here’s where we might be fighting. Because Mr Megan Fox? Is SEX. Like, really, really hot in person.

We were at Buca. There’s a slightly curved staircase that leads down to the venue. It’s the perfect design to make an entrance. And they did. She was in a pale pink strapless cocktail dress with her hair all Veronica Laked, and he wore my favourite black on black: black shirt open at the neck, black suit, holding her hand up high as she descended in front of them. It was glamourous. It seemed like everyone in the room stopped talking. It was a showstopper. And I realised that, you know, on occasion, Megan Fox can have It. She is polarising, she is detestable, she is f-ckable, she is never just there.

But yeah she is totally a bitch. Scowling, disinterested at times, fronting like she’s not willing to be looked at but exhibiting the kind of behaviour that gets her looked at. It’s extremely entertaining. If you are a people watcher, as I am, you can’t dispute that it’s extremely entertaining.

As foul as she can be though, Megan was not too foul for Bill Murray. Please. I would have punched her in the face. Bill Murray arrived like Jay-Z. An entourage that included Graydon Carter. That cracked me up. But look at what he was wearing. I mean...

Amazing, right?

And he had with him the strangest companion. I didn’t recognise him, a young kid in an old t-shirt who seemed really overwhelmed, not talking to anyone, and in my mind, I’d like to think that Bill bought a smokie from him at a street stand on his way over and invited him to come along for the ride and jam at the late night. After all, this is the man who shows up at random house parties and stars washing dishes, who has a 1-800 number and no agent. That’s the best sh-t in the whole world.

So on Friday night, Bill Murray is gracious and friendly, talks to everyone, did not go straight to VIP and mixed among the regular folk for a while before he decided to grab the microphone and Marvin Gaye the joint. How was it? Whatever hilarity and awesomeness you’re picturing, that’s what it was.

Photos from Wenn.com and Flynetonline.com and Splashnewsonline.com and George Pimentel/Wireimage