Were you, like me, still under the misapprehension that these two were getting divorced? In fact, they’ve just had a baby…not that those are mutually exclusive, of course. You can have a baby and a divorce, although sometimes one is used to stop another, in both directions. Not advisable, but it happens.

Kind of like this third child’s name: Journey River Green.

May I remind you that this couple has two other sons, Noah Shannon and Bodhi Ransom? May I further remind you that I found something to like on both those naming occasions even though the names don’t really blend, like at all?

Yeah, I have none of that here. First of all, ‘Journey’ is the worst kind of word name. “Oh, because we hope he will go on a journey throughout his life.” (Not a quote, btw.) Like everyone else in the world who is in the world? Neat. Also, if you’re the kind of people who choose ‘Journey’, doesn’t ‘River’ basically mean the same thing? Like, travelling, moving, never the same place twice…right?

Then on top of this, it’s hard to separate what we know about the couple from the name, you know? Like if this IS a patch-baby, then it’s kind of a heavy cross to bear: “Oh we had to travel so far to come back together to have you. NO PRESSURE TO BE THE GLUE THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER.”

I’m a hypocrite because I have a real soft spot for Jurnee Smollett-Bell, but still. There’s an argument to be made that this name is in line with the meanings of Noah and Bodhi, but this name IS the meaning. There’s no subtlety here. To think I once called them good namers.

Anyway, these two now have three kids with two years between each, so, give or take that maybe-forgotten divorce, stand by for baby Solace or Explore, arriving circa May 2018.