Megan Fox’s weird pretend face was looking more weird and pretend than ever last night at the Hollywood premiere of Jonah Hex. Something about how flat the hair is on top, and the shape of her hair, it’s not a flattering look, it’s kinda like an alien look. And again, it’s like that’s not her real head. It’s like she’s walking around with a head taped to her head, because how can this be not-pretend? That is some of the fakest sh-t I’ve ever seen.

Almost as fake in the face as Heidi Montag.

And goddamn is she ever scrawny.

And those tits are ridiculous.

And I’m not the hardest Megan Fox hater out there. I actually posited that there will be opportunities for her post Transformers. But if it keeps on like this, maybe I need to revise my position. Because is there anything happening here that she was actually born with?

As you know, it was announced this week that Fox and Brian Austin Greene are engaged again. Congratulations, but that still won’t help Jonah Hex. Jonah Hex will get killed by Toy Story 3 this weekend. It’s already getting killed by the critics and even its own studio has pretty much conceded that it’s done.

So no, there won’t be much to celebrate professionally for Megan this weekend. And if I’m her neighbour, if I live in that community where she and BAG are living, I’m bracing myself for some tweaking. Word is their fights are nuclear.

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