They showed a clip of Meryl Streep being presented her last Oscar before last night by Sylvester Stallone and she was in a gold dress that wasn’t dissimilar to what she wore this time around, as if she’d been advised by my ma the Chinese Squawking Chicken about lucky feng shui colours. Well...it worked.

I saw her backstage in person. I can’t hate. In fact, the gold was very flattering. But the clothes are seldom the point with Meryl.

God I wanted so badly to ask her a question about being “Capable” but everyone in that f-cking room had their hand up and the moderator lady didn’t pick my number. Also, Meryl didn’t want to stay. Meryl wanted to “start with” a couple of whiskies because “I’m thirsty”. I mean... she was ready to party.

So...

About that Best Actress curse...

Let’s not jinx her. Because weird sh-t does happen when you say it out loud. But I just want to show you one photo of Meryl adoring her husband when her name was called. We’re all group chanting a protective charm around her now, right?