Anna Wintour presides over this event. Its official name is the Costume Institute Gala. So, as I say every year, this is NOT the Academy. There is no constituency here from Palm Springs to fellate. The people you want to blow are the precious fashion bitches. In other words, the style assessment has a slightly different standard. Save it with the taffeta. Please no ball gowns, no figure skating, no brides, no Oscar de la Renta for the Princess Michael of Kent, and ... no Lindsay Lohan! Anna shut that sh-t down!

At the Met Gala you bring your game. Your game may be considered ugly by some, by the minivan majority, but ugly, here, is better than boring, imagination is better than safe, edge is better than predictable. With all due respect, the fact that you would never wear it is half the point.

I will try to cover as many people as possible. By the end there may be as many as 40 articles, over 8,000 words. So...some will have to be cut. Like I’ll tell you right now, I’m cutting Heidi Klum. Not interesting and don’t care, unless she’s the subject of a blind riddle. But you already knew that.

Are we fighting? We will fight HARD! What could possibly be more fun than to fight over Dress Porn?

(Right now, at 9pm PT Monday night, I cannot find a photo of Andre Leon Talley. What is this world? Every year he makes some kind of entrance on those steps, and sometimes Anna even orders him to arrange her daughter’s dress, a sight I will never forget, along with my friend Lara, the first time we covered the event. This time he was responsible for Beyonce’s walk up to the doors. Will try to update later if new ones come up. In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy this shot of him with Anna front row at Chanel in March. And on the subject of Chanel...where was Karl???)